You’ve found the one…or so you think. No one goes into marriage with the intention of getting a divorce, but unfortunately, this is a reality many couples face. While avoiding divorce might sometimes be inevitable, we can at least try our best to go into marriage with the utmost faith in the relationship. Negative thoughts or doubts that swirl around your head before a wedding can be warning signs that the relationship isn’t the right ONE for you. Here are 5 thoughts that may be signaling it’s not the right time to say, “I do.”
You’re not compatible in the bedroom, but hope things will get better.
If this is something that crosses your mind more often than not, you may need to ask yourself how important is physical intimacy to you in a relationship? For many, physical intimacy is one of the most important parts of a relationship and a lack thereof has been the downfall for many married couples. You don’t want to find yourself in a position constantly wondering, “What if?” Another reason this is a serious warning sign is that bedroom chemistry also has a lot to do with the way a couple communicates. This could be a precursor that you will not be able to communicate properly your other needs and desires. You may want to discuss these concerns with your partner and work on it before tying the knot.
You think if they ever left you, you would crumble to pieces.
I’m not saying you would not be allowed to be devastated should the relationship end, but if you are so insecure and unfulfilled that you would feel diminished to nothing, you may want to spend some time working on yourself. The more confident and independent you feel you will be more likely to be your true self in the relationship. Going into a marriage expecting your partner to be EVERYTHING to you is a dangerous way to set yourself up for disaster. Many people in this situation wake up one day resenting their partner.
You think the relationship was a bit rushed.
Everyone is entitled to their own timeline on an engagement and marriage, BUT if this is weighing on you after the fact then listen to yourself. You may want to slow things down. Rushing into a lifelong commitment when doubts are swirling in your mind are never a good idea.
You’re worried about your partner’s ability to provide.
Perhaps you’ve been thinking about your partner’s less than stellar employment track record, laziness, and overall “quitter” attitude. While this may not have affected you directly in your relationship yet, you know that marriage is a different story. You need to be on team in marriage and you don’t want to have to carry the weight of the real world on your shoulders alone.
The not-so-good qualities you’ve accepted about your partner are now looming.
The toothpaste in the sink or the way they snore might be things you’ve looked past. But there could be other more serious things you let go of for a while such as differences in religious beliefs, the number of children wanted, etc. If it’s something you’ve ignored and suddenly it’s coming to the front of your mind be sure to address it.
“Always, always trust your first gut instincts. If you feel in your heart and soul that something is wrong it probably is.”